β€œThe days are long, but the years are short,” wrote Gretchen Rubin inΒ The Happiness Project.Β 

Never a truer wordΒ has been said ofΒ parenting young children.

Some days theΒ noise and craziness of corrallingΒ two intense little boys was soΒ challenging I’d wantΒ to scream.

But there were moments my heart simply welled up with joy.

Like the day I stared down atΒ my youngest child as he trotted slowly and thoughtfullyΒ up the stairs in the shopping centre…Β 

He may as wellΒ have been surrounded byΒ a stunning light.

Just soΒ beautiful.

But there was something about this moment that wasΒ also heartbreaking.

I realised that, each dayΒ in so many ways, he isΒ less young.

More wise perhaps – but in a way, less ‘innocent’.

More aware of this world, less dependent.

On me.

I wantedΒ this little angelΒ to love me forever.

I was also seized by the thought of him one day rejecting me.

How painful that would be… because I love him so very much.

I wonder if that’s how God feels about us sometimes…

Yes, he knows all things andΒ created all things – including us,Β aware weΒ might reject him.Β 

But I believe his heart breaks when thisΒ happens.

When we return to him however, knowing, and finally believing, that his son’s death on the crossΒ and coming to life again really does make us whiter than snow…

Wow.

What joy in this realisation.

This reunion.

I amΒ far from being likeΒ God.

ButΒ if the loveΒ I feel for my beautiful, complex son is this intense… How much more must Jesus love and yearn for me?

And you?

In aΒ relationship whereΒ we embrace, rather than reject.

Where I follow his lead, rather than go my own way.

Where I take his hand and say Lord – I really believe these words from John 8:36:Β Β “If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

And in Isaiah 1:18: “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

May my love forΒ this redemptiveΒ Father shine like the glistening snow, pointing the way back to the true source ofΒ light, love, and everlasting peace.Β 

May thisΒ beautiful, wonderfulΒ reconciliation define my lifeΒ each and every one ofΒ my days.

Because it truly does change everything.

23 responses to “How much more must Jesus yearn for me?”

  1. jesusknowsmyname Avatar

    Look at those curls, wow!

    The more I read, the more I learn how much God loves us. It is such a wonderful, comforting, reassuring feeling. I like your words at the end: “Because it truly does change everything.” That is the message we so hope a perishing world “gets”.

    You wrote with such heart and truth here, I just can’t come up with adequate words to express how wonderful I think your post is, but wow, it has really encouraged me and ministered to me. thank you. Have a wonderful Easter!

    (On another point, I do have a son who rejected me in the past, so I know the pain.)

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ Yeah for sure. His love isn’t just a theory or philosophy but a life-changing reality, hey..
      What you’ve been through would be very painful – our children’s response to us is something we have no control over hey.. very hard.

  2. illumylife by Joy Avatar

    Beautiful and inspirational. Thank you and have a blessed Easter.
    Joy

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thank you πŸ™‚ Have a wonderful Easter too – God bless.

  3. altarofheaven Avatar

    i understand. As a mommy and as His daughter. I love those lessons He gives us through our children when we are listening and present. Thank you for sharing!

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      It’s an amazing link into His love isn’t it.. thanks to you for reading, God bless.

  4. rjdawarrior Avatar

    The truth and fears of motherhood. I totally undetstand. My children are all grown up with childten of their own. And I have experienced each and every painful thought you wrote. Yes it is heatshattering when they reject you! But I have learned that my sons actions dont match what he really feels in his heart for me.

    Thanks for posting I found it encouraging

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thanks for your comment.. and that would be hard, to go through that.. It’s good that you have that perspective though. We all have a tendency to reject love at some point don’t we..
      God bless.

  5. jannatwrites Avatar

    I like how you related the human bond and emotions we have with our own children to God’s feelings when we do the same things to him. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own selves that we don’t think God really does understand what we go through. He does!

    P.S. Your son is adorable! I get a bit sad as I watch mine get older. I swear I almost cried when my older son reminded me he would be in ‘double-digits’ this year.

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thanks, yes I often need to remind myself of this.. Thanks, hehe – it’s like we grieve the ‘loss’ of their childhood.. it’s inevitable, and you want them to grow up – but really hard!

  6. Stevie McHugh Avatar

    Nice post. I always enjoy reading your posts, and I’ve nominated you for The Sunshine Award. http://dailypeptalk.wordpress.com/2012/04/08/the-sunshine-award-nomination/. Thank you for the inspiration.

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Awesome! Thank you so much Stevie. God bless.

  7. themoderndaynomads Avatar

    love this post excellent words.Thank you for posting this and giving us a fresh perspective

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thank you πŸ™‚

  8. Caddo Veil Avatar
    Caddo Veil

    “What a beautiful child!” And that is also what God says about each one of us–regardless that we are going to do some unlovely things and disappoint Him sometimes. I am grateful beyond describing, for His Huge Love! God bless you.

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Well said – he’s amazing isn’t he??? God bless you too, and thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  9. aleafinspringtime Avatar

    Beautiful. I think I know more of the Father’s heart now that I am a mother because if little ol me can have a heart so full of love and mercy, how much more our God! Thank you for this thoughtfully tender post. And your littlest one is an angel! Sharon

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Well said.. I know, I am also blown away by all the love I feel, in my simple ‘humanness’… how much more, God – for sure. He’s so amazing! πŸ™‚ Thanks Sharon! God bless.

  10. michaelsgirl718 Avatar

    GREAT POST! You captured the ponderings of my heart in this…

    I am far from being like God. But if the love I feel for my beautiful, complex son is this intense… How much more must Jesus love and yearn for me? And you? In a relationship where we embrace, rather than reject. Where I follow his lead, rather than go my own way. Where I take his hand and say Lord – I really believe these words from John 8:36: ”If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

    Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your little ones. The time indeed goes by very quickly. One day they are in your arms and the next…blowing out 19 candles!!

    Your little boy is ADORABLE! God bless you and your family.
    sheila

    1. GodGirl Avatar

      Thanks so much Sheila πŸ™‚ Yes I can feel the years passing quickly already! Thankfully all of us ‘children’ will always be in our Father’s arms πŸ™‚

  11. chasingtheperfectmoment Avatar

    Beautifully written and beautiful picture.

  12. Lawrence Morra Avatar

    Ali…Fantastic and what an outstanding piece of writing here! Beautiful and so real as I can envision your son doing and changing as you described; but too the God that made this all possible for perfect reason, and the net result, is what matters in the end, what kind of love and beauty in seeing it all come full circle for God to give us so much, and taking the risk of our rejecting Him; but, what a perfection when in spite of all the trials and tribulations the True Awakening and Realization kicks in, and both God and Child or Parent and Child come to a point where they β€œLOVE EACH OTHER THE MOST” they possibly can! Like the story of the β€œProdigal Son” fits here so well, and look how that worked out!
    Fantastic Ali, I love this piece, and you brought a tear to my eyes and I’m so happy for your family, especially your children that they have such an awesome mommy! I can see myself if I was a child and yours, how I would want to hug you so much and say β€œI LOVE YOU MOMMY!” Let’s hope we all are going to be doing that at the end of our lives with God Almighty! πŸ™β­πŸ•ŠπŸ€—β€οΈβœοΈβ€οΈπŸ€—πŸ•Šβ­πŸ™
    Lawrence

Comment on this post?