How much more must Jesus yearn for me?

“The days are long, but the years are short,” wrote Gretchen Rubin in The Happiness Project

Never a truer word has been said of parenting young children.

Some days the noise and craziness of corralling two intense little boys was so challenging I’d want to scream.

But there were moments my heart simply welled up with joy.

Like the day I stared down at my youngest child as he trotted slowly and thoughtfully up the stairs in the shopping centre… 

He may as well have been surrounded by a stunning light.

Just so beautiful.

But there was something about this moment that was also heartbreaking.

I realised that, each day in so many ways, he is less young.

More wise perhaps – but in a way, less ‘innocent’.

More aware of this world, less dependent.

On me.

I wanted this little angel to love me forever.

I was also seized by the thought of him one day rejecting me.

How painful that would be… because I love him so very much.

I wonder if that’s how God feels about us sometimes…

Yes, he knows all things and created all things – including us, aware we might reject him. 

But I believe his heart breaks when this happens.

When we return to him however, knowing, and finally believing, that his son’s death on the cross and coming to life again really does make us whiter than snow…

Wow.

What joy in this realisation.

This reunion.

I am far from being like God.

But if the love I feel for my beautiful, complex son is this intense… How much more must Jesus love and yearn for me?

And you?

In a relationship where we embrace, rather than reject.

Where I follow his lead, rather than go my own way.

Where I take his hand and say Lord – I really believe these words from John 8:36:  “If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

And in Isaiah 1:18: “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

May my love for this redemptive Father shine like the glistening snow, pointing the way back to the true source of light, love, and everlasting peace. 

May this beautiful, wonderful reconciliation define my life each and every one of my days.

Because it truly does change everything.

23 Comments

  1. Look at those curls, wow!

    The more I read, the more I learn how much God loves us. It is such a wonderful, comforting, reassuring feeling. I like your words at the end: “Because it truly does change everything.” That is the message we so hope a perishing world “gets”.

    You wrote with such heart and truth here, I just can’t come up with adequate words to express how wonderful I think your post is, but wow, it has really encouraged me and ministered to me. thank you. Have a wonderful Easter!

    (On another point, I do have a son who rejected me in the past, so I know the pain.)

    1. Thank you so much 🙂 Yeah for sure. His love isn’t just a theory or philosophy but a life-changing reality, hey..
      What you’ve been through would be very painful – our children’s response to us is something we have no control over hey.. very hard.

  2. The truth and fears of motherhood. I totally undetstand. My children are all grown up with childten of their own. And I have experienced each and every painful thought you wrote. Yes it is heatshattering when they reject you! But I have learned that my sons actions dont match what he really feels in his heart for me.

    Thanks for posting I found it encouraging

    1. Thanks for your comment.. and that would be hard, to go through that.. It’s good that you have that perspective though. We all have a tendency to reject love at some point don’t we..
      God bless.

  3. I like how you related the human bond and emotions we have with our own children to God’s feelings when we do the same things to him. It’s so easy to get caught up in our own selves that we don’t think God really does understand what we go through. He does!

    P.S. Your son is adorable! I get a bit sad as I watch mine get older. I swear I almost cried when my older son reminded me he would be in ‘double-digits’ this year.

    1. Thanks, yes I often need to remind myself of this.. Thanks, hehe – it’s like we grieve the ‘loss’ of their childhood.. it’s inevitable, and you want them to grow up – but really hard!

  4. “What a beautiful child!” And that is also what God says about each one of us–regardless that we are going to do some unlovely things and disappoint Him sometimes. I am grateful beyond describing, for His Huge Love! God bless you.

  5. Beautiful. I think I know more of the Father’s heart now that I am a mother because if little ol me can have a heart so full of love and mercy, how much more our God! Thank you for this thoughtfully tender post. And your littlest one is an angel! Sharon

    1. Well said.. I know, I am also blown away by all the love I feel, in my simple ‘humanness’… how much more, God – for sure. He’s so amazing! 🙂 Thanks Sharon! God bless.

  6. GREAT POST! You captured the ponderings of my heart in this…

    I am far from being like God. But if the love I feel for my beautiful, complex son is this intense… How much more must Jesus love and yearn for me? And you? In a relationship where we embrace, rather than reject. Where I follow his lead, rather than go my own way. Where I take his hand and say Lord – I really believe these words from John 8:36: ”If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

    Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your little ones. The time indeed goes by very quickly. One day they are in your arms and the next…blowing out 19 candles!!

    Your little boy is ADORABLE! God bless you and your family.
    sheila

    1. Thanks so much Sheila 🙂 Yes I can feel the years passing quickly already! Thankfully all of us ‘children’ will always be in our Father’s arms 🙂

  7. Ali…Fantastic and what an outstanding piece of writing here! Beautiful and so real as I can envision your son doing and changing as you described; but too the God that made this all possible for perfect reason, and the net result, is what matters in the end, what kind of love and beauty in seeing it all come full circle for God to give us so much, and taking the risk of our rejecting Him; but, what a perfection when in spite of all the trials and tribulations the True Awakening and Realization kicks in, and both God and Child or Parent and Child come to a point where they “LOVE EACH OTHER THE MOST” they possibly can! Like the story of the “Prodigal Son” fits here so well, and look how that worked out!
    Fantastic Ali, I love this piece, and you brought a tear to my eyes and I’m so happy for your family, especially your children that they have such an awesome mommy! I can see myself if I was a child and yours, how I would want to hug you so much and say “I LOVE YOU MOMMY!” Let’s hope we all are going to be doing that at the end of our lives with God Almighty! 🙏⭐🕊🤗❤️✝️❤️🤗🕊⭐🙏
    Lawrence

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