It’s so easy to judge people.
So often we stand at a distance and make decisions and conclusions which may or may not be ‘true’ about their lives.
We can do this with complete strangers, and with those closest to us.
We might analyze and speculate and ruminate. We allow assumptions to take up residence, and sometimes respond in far-from-loving ways to those who most need care.
We judge without even asking; listening; hearing… Sometimes we’re so solutions orientated that people get hurt – really hurt.
The intention to help can lead to massive wounds, and that’s the last thing we wanted…
What about you?
Ever wished someone would just stand beside you – or look you in the eyes – and listen? I mean, truly listen?
Sometimes just repeating back what your friend is saying is all that’s needed.
Responding with things like, “That really hurts, doesn’t it?”
You might think you’re not helping, but you are.
And don’t worry – the solutions will come for them.
Sometimes we just need to be heard first. Where we’re at.
And this non-judging ‘ear’ might just give them the strength to start believing they can make decisions – healthy decisions – for a better future.
“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” – Scott Peck.
It really does help. I am thankful to so many over the years who have listened. I am sure that each one, some in small ways and othesr in large, have helped me to stay sane =)
That’s great. There is power in being heard, and even better, understood. It’s worth finding friends who ‘just get it’ hey.
I’ve been on both ends of this . ..and really regret the times that I have not just listened but felt like I needed to “do”something, have answers, find solutions. I’m getting better, but it’s a process. Recently God told me that He just wanted me to love the dear ones He brought to me. That took so much pressure off, to know that I didn’t have to be brilliant and know what to say (which I rarely if ever do). Thank you, Ali , for such a good and helpful post. You have really been ministering to us here! God bless you and your precious family.
I know what you’re saying, Debbie – we can put so much pressure on ourselves to present the perfect argument, offer advice, etc etc. But I do believe it’s love, shown in simple, non-flashy ways, that can really open doors.
We are all works in progress aren’t we, and we are blessed that God can use us to show his love in the world…
Thank you for sharing, Debbie, and for encouraging me so often.
I confess I’m awful about judging….
It’s so easy to slip into Caddo… I often think there’s a fine line between discussing someone with a close friend, and gossiping. Sometimes we need to talk about issues, but I think the key for me has to be trying to keep most of my information about a person ‘from the horse’s mouth’… And taking the time to really listen.
I’m one that tends to think of solutions or ideas. I should listen more… just listen.
It’s a hard one. I guess it depends where the person is at, as to whether they just want to be listened to, or really need some good advice. Maybe a bit of both, I’m that order…
Great post! Good reminder for all…
Beautiful, and so true.
Very difficult to practice. I try to follow ISKCON dictum, ‘Every single person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Try to be kind.’
I love that saying. Certainly helps to stop ourselves from jumping to conclusions about others. Thanks so much for dropping by Sweety.