Today I chose to step outside myself… and into life

Today, I made a conscious effort to look around me… to move outside my head.

I chose to observe the way the leaves crunched underneath my feet, their textures creating a new sound with each step…

Each one a different shade of orange or yellow, they flung themselves around me with the wind; papery, noisy… demanding my full attention.

Today I chose to engage with the people I came across.

A smile, some coins, a hello.

I glanced at strangers, taking in their face, their posture… their approach to people in their path.

I took note of my intention for today and asked myself what I was looking for, hoping for, dreaming about.

I allowed my eyes to drift above the lofty buildings, towards the sky. It was pale baby blue with tinges of grey. Clouds were scurrying through the atmosphere as if to attend a party they’re late for.

I took note of how quickly I was moving, how rapid my breath. I took deep, slow breaths as I walked up the hill, feeling my lungs expand and contract.

I reminded myself that, for today, I’m alive.

I have breath in my lungs.

I’m still here, among the living – and the half-alive…

I get to be one of the ones that chooses to live. That opts for life.

I left my home to embrace the day outside. That’s a reason to celebrate!

I look inside myself. I identify the emotions that compete for my attention.

I find a way to put words to the seemingly indefinable.

I welcome in the sadness and the joy, the sorrow and the excitement, the anger and the peace. All of it.

I treat my emotions as friends who can co-exist rather than angels and demons. I refuse to judge the way I feel – only the actions that stem from my feelings.

I choose to simply observe… and move on to the task of living and improving.

I walk towards the responsibility of being grateful, and living out my values in all the small, simple ways.

Because small and simple is enough, and in my smallness…

And God’s bigness…

… So am I.