Have you ever been so desperate to belong that you’ve altered yourself in the process of trying?
I remember this particular group of people that drew me somehow.
Its members were different to me, but they seemed really happy… well-connected.
It made so much sense to be part of that group, because I saw them regularly and it seemed like a convenient set-up.
I didn’t relate to their humour; their choices of conversation topics didn’t really interest me… and I didn’t even ‘like’ myself when I was around them.
Nonetheless, I felt compelled to seek their approval and be part of what they had.
I wanted to be accepted as a member of their group because the feeling of acceptance held more appeal than the notion of being myself.
But it never felt right.
I lost a part of myself in the process of trying to fit in.
And the group was steered by a narcissistic person who preferred followers to equals.
It took a lot of self-reflection to realise that I didn’t actually enjoy being in this group, and that other groups made me much happier.
Other friends brought out the best in me rather than forcing me into an uncomfortable mould.
I realised I had a choice, and the choice of being me – rather than the chameleon I was trying to be – was much more healthy than my misguided attempts to fit in.
Knowing I had a choice, and that I didn’t have to change myself in the name of friendship or ‘belonging’ was liberating!
And knowing there were places where being myself was acceptable and valued… that was even better!
Oh my gosh I’ve been there … many times … blessings … God is Good!
Yay Ali! So glad it worked out and you get to stay you! You are precious to Him and us! 🙂
Thanks so much Debbie! It’s been quite a journey but I’m glad too 🙂 God bless you, precious friend xx
Wow! So authentic! ♥️
Thank you!! 🙂